You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize