do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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