So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
