She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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