Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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