And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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