is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just invented taco cereal.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
