he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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