Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
