She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
