just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
