Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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