Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
