Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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