he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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