your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
