super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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