I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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