That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
