tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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