The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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