I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize