that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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