Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
