I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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