glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize