when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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