You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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