I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
