So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
