theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
