So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
