Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
