that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
