she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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