Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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