my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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