No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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