I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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