Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize