im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
