already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
