Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
