So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
