what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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