and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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