I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize