Pregnant stripper...not hot.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
