can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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