Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize