he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
