She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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