i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
