Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Houston, we have a blender
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
