i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
