apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
