Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm drive I can fine osifer
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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