Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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