My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
