JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
