are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
