I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
