you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
