Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
